By Dakota Parks for Inweekly
Caught in a relentless barrage of anti-trans legislation, sensationalized headlines and misinformation, trans youth across America are often reduced to political cannon fodder—dehumanized and diminished to talking points that only fuel hostility towards them. Yet it’s easy to forget that these are young people, kids who are already navigating the challenges of growing up: making friends, bickering with family, failing math class, falling in love and daydreaming about their futures.
If you’re confused by the rhetoric in the media, unfamiliar with the struggles of trans youth and their families, or simply haven’t had the chance to closely befriend a trans person, then journalist Nico Lang’s groundbreaking new book, “American Teenager: How Trans Kids Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era,” is for you.
In it, Lang offers a deeply humanizing portrayal of trans, nonbinary and genderfluid teens, reminding readers that these kids are just that: kids, deserving of the same rights, protections and freedoms as their peers. After spending a year traveling across the U.S.—from the conservative Florida Panhandle to liberal California communities—Lang shares these children’s stories, crossing racial, religious and class lines to paint a nuanced, authentic portrait of their lives.
“Journalists weren’t doing a very good job of personalizing their coverage or telling the stories of people who are impacted directly by politically motivated hate,” Lang explained. “This book centers the voices of kids who have found themselves at the center of this madness, because now 26 states across the country restrict their right to have medical care that meets their specific needs or to even play on sports teams that align with their identities. We’re often not talking to kids about how it feels to have lawmakers discriminate against you personally. Imagine what that must be like at 15 years old.”
Lang shifted their focus to reporting personal stories like these during the lead up to the 2016 election, as anti-trans sentiment surged across the country. But it was a 2021 Texas bill, one that sought to label parents of trans kids as child abusers for affirming their children’s gender identity, that marked a breaking point and made Lang realize this book desperately needed to be written.
“Most Americans still say they do not have transgender people in their lives—not as coworkers or casual acquaintances, let alone friends or family members—and thus, even fewer are likely acquainted with a transgender child,” Lang notes in the books’ introduction. “Research shows that when a cisgender person knows someone who is transgender, whether they be a young person or an adult, they are more likely to support their right to exist.”
Guided by this understanding, Lang adopts an immersive documentary style, drawing readers into the day-to-day lives of these teens, following them to school, family dinners, state legislatures and LGBTQ+ summer camps, capturing their fear, boredom, loneliness and joy. They spent several weeks with each family, conducting 40–60 interviews with family members and the wider community, feverishly jotting down every minute detail to fully capture each story. The result is evocative, educational and deeply gripping storytelling that helps readers not only understand this politically turbulent era but connect with trans youth on a personal level.
“This approach builds a lot of empathy. In learning to care for these kids the same way you would your friends or family members, you can learn to fight and advocate for them. With this book, I just wanted to build an army of advocates and allies, because these kids need that,” Lang said. “They’re not only trying to grow up and fight for their futures, but also fight for the futures of other kids in their communities. So many of these kids are at their legislatures every day, protesting, organizing and testifying, and they shouldn’t have to. Adults should be helping them, and they’re not getting it.”
In each chapter, Lang connects the dots between statewide legislation and local politics that impact these kids’ lives. Unlike fleeting headlines that overlook the real consequences of policy, “American Teenager” illustrates how these bills affect individuals. From children suffering bladder infections or wetting themselves from fear of using school restrooms to switching schools to escape bullying or even a teenager here in Pensacola grappling with severe depression and suicidal ideation after being forcibly detransitioned and losing access to life-saving medications like hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
“You’re witnessing these kids who are really struggling, experiencing unimaginable agony, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Lang said. “As a journalist, it’s my job to tell people how they feel and show them what’s happening. But you still want to help them. You want to fix the world. In the case of Jack in Pensacola, who is forcibly detransitioned, kids across the country are having their access to medical care restricted—whether that’s HRT and puberty blockers or surgical care, which is already extremely rare. I always knew there were stories of kids who would have their medical care taken away, but we hadn’t heard them yet. Many of those families are in survival mode, just trying to keep their kids alive.”
Keeping their kids alive: that’s what haunts so many parents of trans teenagers. According to The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers, with a significantly higher risk for youth of color and transgender and nonbinary youth.
Inweekly spoke with two local families whose stories overlap with those in “American Teenager” and emphasize the lengths parents will go to support and fight for their children.
One is Pensacola mother Bethany Coleman, who despite doing everything in her power to love and protect her child, fears losing custody or being reported for child abuse simply for supporting them. To protect her family amid growing concerns for their safety, we have changed her name in this article.
Open Arms, Open Hearts
When her teenager was outed to her as trans a few years ago, Coleman wasted no time diving into research at work, searching for resources, support groups and a safe chest binder to order. Like many parents interviewed in “American Teenager,” Coleman went beyond simply accepting and loving her child—she became a passionate ally, volunteering with Free Mom Hugs and attending local support groups like the Panhandle Trans Coalition to better understand the road ahead.
Now 15 years old, her child is more confident and comfortable asking for gender-neutral clothing as they navigate and explore their gender identity and their place in the world. While not fully out to friends and family, they trust their mother to support both them and their friends.
“I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that people think somehow the parents have forced their kids to do this. It goes back to that child abuse situation,” Coleman explained. “I didn’t make my kid do anything, but I’m thankful my kid was comfortable enough with me to be their genuine and authentic self. I still know adults to who aren’t comfortable showing the world their authentic selves.”
When her teenager brings home friends who haven’t come out to their parents, Coleman carefully navigates the use of different names and pronouns while they’re in the safety of her home. Her advocacy centers on showing others they are not alone, which is why she regularly exposes her child to queer joy and community, taking them to events like PensaPride and Stamped Film Festival’s Family Day. She even organized a trip for a group of queer and trans kids to attend, going so far as contacting each of their parents for permission before attending the festival. Living in the Bible Belt with acceptance at school still on rocky grounds, she hopes it makes a difference.
“More than anything, I think my kid fears getting beat up at school,” she said. “When we went to orientation at high school, there were a couple things that pissed me off. First, we had to sign a waiver for them to use a shortened version of their birth name. The school also made a point to announce that your child has to use the bathroom of the gender that was assigned to them at birth. Cheers erupted throughout the school. Some kids walked out visibly shaken. It was really upsetting to hear that. These kids deserve better.”
While much of these experiences are beyond her control, Coleman focuses on creating safe spaces for connection. She’s helping organize the first local Free Mom Hugs event, “Hugs for the Holidays,” on Saturday, Dec. 7 to provide a free holiday meal for queer and trans youth, as well as anyone seeking a welcoming community.
“I’m not going to stop parenting. I’m not going to stop supporting my child in everything that they do. My love and support for my child doesn’t have any impact on someone else’s child,” Coleman said.
Your Voice is Your Best Weapon
Lachelle McCormick Johns and her son Arlo Angeles are no strangers to Inweekly readers. Over the years, they’ve both been featured several times for their contributions to Pensacola’s poetry and arts community. Despite talking to them on election night, the two were full of laughter, cracking jokes and finishing each other’s sentences as they reminisced about Angeles’ journey to the out and proud trans man that he is today.
“It’s hard listening to cis, white, privileged people talk about politics like it doesn’t affect them. Especially when one of the candidates is actively trying to enact laws that will threaten my life as a trans, gay, Mexican and Black man. It’s frustrating as a kid, because I’m not 18, and I don’t have the ability to vote yet. No one really listens to me,” explained Angeles.
Now 17 years old, Angeles came out to his mother when he was 14 before working up the courage to come out to their entire family at Thanksgiving.
“The name change was the scariest part for me, because it’s a very sacred thing for a lot of parents, and my mother chose my name for its Spanish translation,” he explained. “I had come out as lesbian prior, so I knew it was going to be okay, but it’s still scary. People can be cruel about your preferences and identity changing. It was comforting being involved in the poetry community, knowing that I had such a welcoming and diverse community that was gonna accept me no matter what.”
And accept they did. The community and family welcomed him with open arms, and his mother even took them out for a celebratory dinner, proud to tell the waitress they were celebrating her son. As the new name settled in, she shared about it on Facebook, reintroducing her son to the world alongside other life updates and family photos. Eventually, she filed the paperwork to have his name legally changed, so he could have a fresh start at a new school.
“Fear was a dominant emotion for me early on,” Johns explained. “I feared for him logistically. When you’re a lesbian, you’re using the women’s restroom, a female dorm and female spaces, which are generally safer. I feared he would want to start hormones immediately and wouldn’t be able to access them. There was also the more urgent conversation of safety as he started driving, because there’s a much higher rate of Black men being attacked and killed by the police than women.”
Johns is the type of mother that will move mountains and homes for her children. Shortly after her son came out, she moved the family from rural Cantonment to Pensacola to enroll him in a high school with a more diverse student body and to bring him closer to the arts community that helped raise him.
“He was having a really hard time at school, and sometimes you just have to do things like that, no matter the financial risk. You have to make possible whatever you can make possible for your kids,” she said. “Just witnessing his evolution helped me heal. Watching his confidence grow and seeing him become a happy, complete person was incredible to see. It’s not hard to love your child for who they are.”
As Angeles prepares for college, both he and his mother speak with an air of optimism, looking forward to a bright future ahead. While both are keenly aware of the political attacks against trans lives, they focus on the day-to-day, choosing not to let it overshadow their hopes.
“We have to stop treating trans people like we haven’t been here for centuries. There is a narrative that trans and nonbinary people are a new trend, but Indigenous cultures have always had genderfluid or gender expansive people. The gender binary was spread through colonization,” Angeles said. “I want people to know that, and I want to tell parents not to focus on all the questions they have if their child comes out to them as queer or trans. Just be happy they felt comfortable enough to tell you and leave the logistics for another day.”
Show Up, Show Out
In addition to serving as an introductory tool for people who don’t know any trans teens, Lang’s book is a reminder to parents and advocates that you don’t have to be perfect—you just have to show up.
“I think so many parents judge themselves too harshly for not being a perfect parent, for not being a perfect ally,” Lang said. “I felt like it was important to show these supportive and loving parents who want the world for their kids but don’t quite get all the details right. These parents would move mountains for their kids but don’t always get their pronouns right. But they’re still trying really hard to understand, and I think that’s what matters.”
Of course, “American Teenager” was written before the Nov. 5 general election.
“I’m really scared for the families in this book,” Lang shared after the election results. “Many of them are already talking about moving out of the country or have made plans to leave. They’re afraid for their futures in the United States and scared about what will happen when the Trump administration starts taking away their rights. He has promised a national ban on gender-affirming care for minors, as well as federal ‘Don’t Say Gay’ policies and a nationwide trans sports ban. His running mate, J.D. Vance, wants to throw doctors in jail for treating trans kids.”
For those who may be unaware of the increasing threats faced by trans people and their families across the country, Lang’s work stands as a call to action—a plea to stay vigilant and informed, urging readers to keep all eyes on your state legislature and on politicians to ensure they are held accountable.
While most teenagers in Lang’s book are fortunate to have supportive families, this is not the case for all. Many queer and trans teens face not only unsupportive families but also a government actively working to limit their rights before they’re even old enough to vote. By reading this book, readers can gain insight into critical issues affecting trans youth, seeing them not as political talking points or subjects of fearmongering, but as kids who need all the help they can get.
“LGBTQ+ people are strong. Our community has fought difficult battles for decades, including the HIV activists who fought Reagan to even say the word ‘AIDS’ as their friends and loved ones died in the streets,” Lang concluded. “We will keep fighting. The work isn’t over. It’s never over. It’s sad we need a book like this and that I have to keep explaining this over and over again, but I’m just gonna keep doing it until I’m blue in the face or they put me in the ground.”
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Nico Lang
@queernewsdaily, patreon.com/queernewsdaily
“American Teenager: How Trans Kids Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era” is now available in bookstores and online at tinyurl.com/nico-lang.
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Resource List
Free Mom Hugs
Provides support, resources and allyship to the LGBTQ+ community through hugs and advocacy at Pride events and gatherings.
•Panhandle Trans Coalition
Hosts a bimonthly support group for trans, nonbinary and queer individuals, along with family, friends and allies.
•Strive
strivepensacola.com, @strivepensacola
Ensures the survival and well-being of transgender people in Northwest Florida by providing emergency housing, medication assistance, food and transportation.
•Prism United
Offers programs and gatherings for LGBTQ+ youth and their caretakers in the Mobile, AL area.
•Equality Florida
eqfl.org, @equalityfl
Civil rights organization dedicated to securing full equality for Florida’s LGBTQ+ community.
•Rainbow Railroad
rainbowrailroad.org, @rainbowrailroad
Assists LGBTQ+ individuals escaping state-sponsored violence by helping them relocate to safer areas.
•Trans Lifeline
translifeline.org, @translifeline
A hotline and microgrant organization offering direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis.
•The Trevor Project
thetrevorproject.org, (866) 488-7386
Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth, including 24/7 hotline, chat and text support.